Much too young

...to feel this damn old.
"This ol' highway's getting longer/tougher broncs, you know, I can't recall"
Garth Brooks moment.
I am getting to old for this shit. Hangovers are a drag. I could barely keep my eyes on the WESA/Mabel League all-star game this morning and it's Pride this weekend so it has all barely begun. I secretly hope it rains tomorrow. Skip to the post-parade BBQ. Sleep. I'm 27. It's time to level out or something. I'm good most of the time and I try to cut down the toxic intake (italian dressing over blue cheese? Less fried food?? Organic wine???--gotta be kidding myself) but then I meet up with a fren with trouble on their mind and it everything goes crazy. Once I am in school drinking will not happen. There will not be time for it and I will be glad. If it just wasn't such an integral part of my social scene. Integral part of my society. I'm on the edge now: Say, I'm invited to a BBQ but I don't feel like drinking. What do I do? I drink anyhow. That will change.

A year or so ago, I was at a friends B-day celebration at a bar
downtown. I was offered chemicals I didn't have to pay for. I had
made a decision that e is not something I will take ever again. Lots of my friends dig it. They find it theraputic, like in the morning they've feel washed with happy sunshine, or some shit. I don't have this reaction. Last time I did it I woke up with a more fucked head space than usual and the inside of my mouth fiercely chewed up. It took five days to heal. Pathetic junky behaviour. This was a turning point. I took a minute to think and made a mature decision. Call me tiresome but I was impressed with myself. This year is a going be all about change. From where I'm standing it feels like I'm spining my wheels. I need to step back and take a better look.

Time to clean this wretched apartment. It depresses the hell out of me. It's time for a change of local. With luck and my "let the chips fall where they may" attitude, I hope the universe coughs up a feasable new apt. I'm broke and disgruntled. I bathed the cat--that's one thing done. He did not respond positively and I have bad scratches all over me.

How hot was that?

Making out with a mega-ultra-hot girl on a dance floor during some Madonna meets Mickey Mouse Club anthem. Pretty damn hot. So how am I getting in this cab again?? I'm not goin' without you.... oh I guess I am.
What an enjoyable night. So good to see kindred who I haven't seen in waaaaay too long a time.

Flyby

Spice, one of my long-time friends, flew in for the night from Ottawa. Her great-Aunt Helen died on Monday night of old age. We should all be so lucky. Jewish law states that the bodies of the deceased must be accompanied until they are buried. As Helen is to be laid to rest in Montreal, Spice had to fly out to escort her.

She was supposed to arrive at 9:10 but naturally the plane was delayed until ten-ish. I hung out in the airport bar which made me nervous. I smoked a butt in the 'lounge' and watched part of a baseball game. Strangly cosmic: Mariners vs. Tigers. These so called 'Tigers' are my new favorite team. I think I like them because no one else does. That and that dude at the Home-Run Derby. Holy macaroni. He just would..... not.... stop.

Spice brought with her some of my crappier paintings from a long time ago. It's good and bad to see the progression. Some of them will look better with a thick coat of white....or ...black...

We got in a cab and started the chatter. I miss her so much. She gets me. I can never shock her, really. Even my craziness is ok with her. Love it. Love her. She rocks.

Back at my place we hung with Sonny for a bit and then set out for the Five Point. It's a bit posh for the likes of me. I feel real and acceptable in punk-ass, filthy dives. Luckily the Biltmore was shining pink in the distance, couldn't miss it. They have pool tables, which is what I like.

Spice and I met in a pool hall while I was doin' time there, having dropped out of Uni. I had a broken ankle. I sent her on a mission with my debit card. Get out 60 bucks, bring back the receipt. Trust is the essence of true friendship and love. She came back.

It's an ugly crowd in the Biltmore and the music is terrible! Tuesday night is Twoonie Highball Night. We had some good games. A lot of fun flirting with the cute bouncer. I'm a bitch in the club. I gotta watch my back and I usually chill with staff over the patrons. That's something I picked up hanging with my bro in strip clubs when I was under-age. (heh)
No one wants to end up hacked to pieces, shoved in a hockey bag, left at the bus depot.

A couple of guys wanted to play doubles with us. That or dance. (Uh, no thank you. I dance with my guuurls.) So we played them. They shirked my offer to play for money. I was only half joking. Right about the time they wanted to buy us drinks, "N0 strings attached and I swear I'm not tryin' to pick up" it was time to go! We stumbled home and passed out.
She had to fly off again this morning. I miss her again!!

Thanks

To:
0Swill
1Jena
2Blue
3Timbit
5Shelley
8Cleo
9Pupcake
11Amber
12One-eye
13Jill
14Butch
20Doc
21Randy
39Bandit
88Lisa
and 33Clare, who's always there
-- [4Red]

SO what's next?

We will -- most probably -- be moved to the Advanced/Competitive division. Here we go. Boom. We held our own, strong, against those teams this year, so it is time. Most of the team will play volley-ball, soccer, rugby or hockey (ice, ball or floor) during the "off" season. I will settle to play the odd bowling drunk-fest and the agreed "stay warm", "exhibition" games with other Mabel league teams. This is a whole new thing and a fine idea. Playing Catch 22 in January(!), better have fleece.

We're in

We were first in. We had 9 runs against. Next was the Grinders with 22. Hell Yeah. Two shut outs will do that. Opening cheer: " Win' or losing we're still boozing!!"
Three objectives for the game regardless of a win or loss. It is a win if we:
a) Have BIG bats
b) Good communication
c) All-over coverage

It was so hot.
It was tight and the Grinders played hard. It was tense. We wanted to barf. Everyone played outstanding and...

WE WON 4-2!!!!

Grease paint on our faces, we screamed and got down n' dirty. We are a real team. We support one another and have a good comradery with other teams. And we are damn loud. The cheers and songs really make it soooo fun. It was stellar. I could go on and on. Tons of pics were taken and will be uploaded asap.

After the freakout we watched the Competitive final. We won a hundred dollar gift cert to a sports shop. So we can buy half a bat. I wanted a shirt to strut in. Good thing we raffled off the phat-ass Walker Bay boat. A lil extra coin so we can get a whole bat. No joking, thanks all the same, but where's our honking trophy with the teams name engraved?

Game Four

10:45 10-0
Another shut out vs. Coastal Flyers.
My Dad came and watched, that was rad. He always lends good energy. I came home twice, Shelly hauling ass behind me. We were on. D was tight again!
The weather was beautiful.

Game Two and Three

Two games several hrs apart didn't turn out so bad.

10:45
6-1 For us vs. The Rockers
That was a good game. Jena was looking for a shutout not having had one all year.
That would come.

6:15
22-0 For us vs. The Ratz
Nice D. B!!
It was an annilation. They were demoralized and we felt bad. We went over to try and smooth things over with a boat race challenge as we love the Ratz. I think it worked prtty good. We just really needed the points. More, we needed to not take on any more points against. Two teams were knocked out. The Grinders are 3:0 and we need to win tomorrow to have a chance in final game with them. Maybe.
Thank you Pupcake for distracting me with something I couldn't do so, that I could do something I can.
(Two away and you want me ta bunt??)
Why do I always figure out my batting prob at the end of the season?

We are going to party like maniacs tonight. Thank God, the venue is 5 blocks from my house.

10:45 Sun
Coastal Flyers

Game One

7th inning cheer: "Available now without a prescription!!"

We lost but it was close. 6-7 for the Wombats. They were strong right away and we were not. We came back but not quite enough. Oh well, tomorrow's another day. 11:30 Rockers.

FINALS

Fri 5:17 pm
We start out as Phoenix (this version) ranked 20 out of 20 teams. We took off at a gallop and
finished the first season in 14th place.

Second season we were as high as 8th We came very close to wining the finals. We were moved up a division to the bottom of the Intermdiate. Finished 11th.

Third season we won the LIL tournament and changed our name from Phoenix to Plan B officially. Crazy year for the league and we finished 12th.

After the seeding games this year (to level out the a playing field due to the unrest last year) we moved into the 8th position.
15 wins, 3 losses, 1 tie. We begin the final tournment tonight in 6th place.

Bathing the Cat

How anti-climatic. He didn't even put up a fight. He's such a good boy. A total pussy boy and he must really trust me or something. I mean, I told him I wasn't tryin' to drown him.
I am convinced he knows what I am saying when i talk to him.
He tried to grab on to my shoulder at one point, and wouldn't let go till I let go. He then jumped over my shoulder. Things never escalated and he let me lift him back into the tub. I didn't know cats could be so chill about getting bathed. Totally not what I suspected since this is something that we have never done before. He didn't even get mad at me and it is sooo obvious when a cat gets mad. I wasn't shunned, rather the opposite. He was glad I think.
He was some kinda itchy.

Pigs

It's beautiful in my apartment. I have a lot of cleaning to do and I dread the sun descending. I have to clean the pigs. Their cage is atrocious. I should do that now.
Cleaning the pigs takes no time. They are still little scaredies. I should pick them up more.
When they get individual attention they can see that I just want to cuddle them and give then slices of carrot. Boris is by far smarter. He just let me pick him up. He ran at first and then just let me scoop him up. Usually I have to work at cornering him. I don't like to do that.
Wiggy is slower and hairier but they are both nice guinea pigs. They don't ever bite.
They can put away veggie matter like you don't know what.

The Most Feared Team in the League

People wanna join.
People wanna sleep with us for our uniforms.

Behold the Magic

So I was thinking just a few days ago that I would like a fountain, either for my garden or my apartment. Some falling water/water feature type device. Lo and behold, I wander in last night and there was one just sitting in the "free space" in the foyer of my apartment building. It's UG-ly. Horrendeously ugly in fact. It's tryin' to be Egyptian. But it works. I could paint it and fill it with my stones. I wonder if that would work. I'll have to experiment and find out. Would the plants like it? If I used an extention cord would they appreciate the hum? Maybe it's tacky ugliness would offend them.

Animal

by ANi DiFranco

More and more there is this animal

Looking out through my eyes

At all the traffic on the road to nowhere

At all the shiny stuff around to buy

At all the wires in the air

At all the people shopping

For the same blank stare

At america the drastic

That isolated geographic

That's become infested with millionaires

(chorus:) And then I think when you grow up surrounded

By willful ignorance

You have to believe that

Mercy has its own country

And that it's round and borderless

And then you have to grow wings

And rise above it all

Like there where that hawk is circling

Above that strip mall

More and more there is this animal

Looking out through my eyes

Seeing that animals only take from this world

What they need to survive

But she is prowling through all the religions of men

Seeing that time and time and time again

Their gods have made them Special and above

Nature's law And the respect thereof

(chorus)

Ask any eco-system

Harm here is harm there

And there and there

And aggression begets aggression

It's a very simple lesson

That long preceded any king of heaven

And there's this brutal imperial power

That my passport says I represent

But it will never represent where my heart lives

Only vaguely where it went

A Quick Save

"i give myself three days to feel better
or i swear i'll drive right off a fucking cliff
because if i can't make myself feel better
then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit!!!!!"

-"If winter ends - Bright Eyes

I'm so impressed with this band. Really this kid is good, I would even write him a short note to say I think so.
Today was kinda hard. I did not enjoy work. Not one bit. I really hate that job sometimes. It's a test of my ability to just do what I have to. It's endurance training in a way.
I planned to go workout and I was looking forward to it when I discovered that I had forgotten a shirt to wear. How characteristic of me. Frustrated, I went out and bought a damn shirt with the intention of going to the gym after work.
I was so ready to get down to it, post-work, no time restraint when I realized I forgot my security pass. So angry and despondant, I almost gave up. I was in emotional turmoil ALL DAY which I could blame on PMS, the recent breakup, my boring job. It doesn't matter at all what causes it, but how I am going to fix it. To quote Bif Naked (this rarely happens!) "Psycho-pharmacology never found a friend in me." I can relate. Drugs just kept my racing mind on the slow track.
With the Bright Eyes lyric in my mind I knew that booze and a lie-in was not the answer.
I have to learn how to get control of my mind and to make myself feel better. So I went to Spartacus. I haven't been there in so long. The last time I went in was to cancel my membership so I get the "Look who's come crawling back.." from the guy behind the counter. Oh well. He loves me. I had a wick-ass workout. The only problem was the clothes I bought at Sportcheck. I'm short and have a small waist but I always forget that my shoulders and chest are larger than the average girl my height. Heh heh. BUTCH.
NOW, I feel better.

The Weed Dropper

Who is this guy? Marijuana angel. I've seen him before. One afternoon he was walking in front of me handing herb out to folks passing by. Free. Today as I was walking home from Spartacus he drops something right in front of me! I knew what it was even before I picked it up.......

Rain go away

I don't really mind it. Today. Ask me again two days from now. TOnight's game was cancelled and not everyone knew. Some people didn't get an email or call (OOPS!) and ended up at the field. I wanted to play but not like this. FIve games til the finals.
My garden needs sunlight in the biggest of ways. I almost have tomatoes and my peas haven't flowered. My neck hurts.

Moving Extravaganza!

What a day! Yesterday i helped some of my friends move. We got going at 9 am, moving the deitris of three people who occupy two floors of a house in Strathcona. The new venue is a very old house with narrow wooden staircases (four off them!) and cramped passageways. My calves are quite sore today. Moving crates of records, 100lb speakers and lots of random randomness.
It took a crew of 12 people and 5 vehicles to move 10-12 loads over 7 hrs. It was mental. Many dropped out. I stayed to help Cori clean the old place. Her foot was broken 3 weeks ago.
How is she going to deal with all those stairs???